Jonny C's - Blog Your Enthusiasm

Thanks for the memories Bob!

2007-06-20T01:23:00.000-04:00

Meat Lover? Maybe not anymore.

2007-02-20T23:57:00.000-05:00

As much as I love red meat - and I'm not exaggerating when I say "love" either - the following video makes me at least ponder the idea of becoming a vegetarian. Or at least exploring my options as far as finding meat that isn't produced in the factory farms depicted in the video.

Check it out.

2009 IIHF World Junior Championships

2006-11-29T08:34:00.001-05:00

Bronze Package

2 seats in the upper bowl @ $750 each.

Includes all 17 games being played at Scotiabank Place

Paid a deposit of $100 per seat for a total of $200 (already billed for it).

$1,500 2 x bronze package (upper bowl SBP, 17 games)

$35 $25 package and $10 order fees

$1,535 Total

-$200 less deposit

$1,335 balance

$445 1/3 of balance due Jul-07

$445 1/3 of balance due Nov-07

$445 1/3 of balance due Jul-08

Games

No.

1 26/12/2008 Round Robin Game

2 26/12/2008 Round Robin Game Team Canada

5 27/12/2008 Round Robin Game

7 28/12/2008 Round Robin Game

8 28/12/2008 Round Robin Game Team Canada

11 29/12/2008 Round Robin Game Team Canada

13 30/12/2008 Round Robin Game

14 30/12/2008 Round Robin Game

17 31/12/2008 Round Robin Game

18 31/12/2008 Round Robin Game Team Canada

22 02/01/2009 Quarter Final #1

23 02/01/2009 Quarter Final #2

25 03/01/2009 Semi-final #1

26 03/01/2009 Semi-final #2

29 04/01/2009 Relegation Game

30 05/01/2009 Bronze Medal Game

31 05/01/2009 Gold Medal Game

Breakdown

We need to decide how to split the tickets.

So far I’ve come up with the following:

1 x round robin – Team Canada

1 x round robin – non Team Canada

1 x semi-final or quarter-final

This leaves 2 round robin games (non Team Canada), 1 relegation game, bronze medal game and gold medal game.

*Note: We’d get both tickets to each of the above games.

If we’d rather have both tickets so we can take other people to the game, we could just have a draft and pick games until they are all gone.

Or we could go to games together and individually pick seats to each game until they are all gone.

What I need from you

An email from you to confirm that you are “in”. $50 ASAP. Cash, paypal or email transfer is fine.

Please post comments on this and include your suggestions on how to split the games.

This Day in Hockey History

2006-11-07T14:24:00.001-05:00

November 7, 2006

Jon Ciarlo scores his first goal.

Location:

Bell Centennial Arena, CRA pickup hockey

Assisted by:

Jeff Small

Standing at the far side of the net, Johnny “Heatley” Ciarlo took a cross ice pass from Jeff and chipped it into the top corner of the net. It was the first shift of his second game.

Ortiz vs Shamrock: 3

2006-10-11T07:22:00.000-04:00

The best fight of the night was when Jason “The Athlete” McDonald – how gay is that nickname? – submitted Ed Herman. In Ed’s own words, “I tapped out like a bitch”.

The Ortiz – Shamrock fight was another quick first round TKO for Ortiz. The fight quickly moved to the floor and Ortiz just kept punching him in the ribs and then started working the elbows. Shamrock had no complaints when Big John stopped the fight.

The whole thing was pretty sad actually. Here’s a guy who’s a UFC legend and he’s getting booed before the fight even started. Goodbye Ken “Formerly the World’s Baddest Man” Shamrock. You should have left after the first fight.

One fight I am looking forward to, is the Ortiz – Lidell title match in December. Now there’s a rematch worth watching!

Before I go, I would like to suggest a few equally boring nicknames for Jason McDonald.

·       Jason “The Fighter” McDonald
·       Jason “The In Shape Guy” McDonald
·       Jason “The Canadian” McDonald
·       Jason “The Human” McDonald
·       Jason “I’m Breathing” McDonald

UFC 63 review

2006-09-24T01:20:00.000-04:00

After watching UFC 63, one thing is clear. BJ Penn is most definitely a better fighter than Matt Hughes. The ONLY thing that saved Matt was his cardio. If BJ improved his cardio I don't think Hughes would stand a chance.

And I know that George St Pierre was just trying to promote their inevitable title match, but he was right on the money. Good win, but not impressive.

One last comment... why does the UFC have to show each boxer sparring in the shower before they fight? Is a fine mist spraying all over some dude supposed to look cool? But to make up for that gayness, at least they manage to zoom in on every beautiful woman in the crowd at some point during the night.

City of Ottawa emaps

2006-08-26T10:18:00.000-04:00

If you live in Ottawa you should checkout the emap service that's available on the city website.

You can search for an address and then zoom in on it. Just remember to enable "Air Photos 2005" in the map options and you'll see a detailed picture of your property. Make sure "Property Parcels" is selected and you'll see your lot boundaries as well.

Thanks for the tip Derek.

Desk lamps and fires

2006-08-21T12:45:00.000-04:00

I just noticed a sticker on my computer desk lamp. It reads, "CAUTION: TO REDUCE THE RISK OF FIRE USE ONLY TYPE BLAH BLAH BLAH BULBS".

Gee thanks, but next time can you suggest the type of bulb that will completely eliminate the risk of fire?!

How about this one?

CAUTION: EVEN IF YOU USE THE RECOMMENDED BULBS, YOUR HOUSE MAY BURN DOWN TO THE GROUND

Or,

CAUTION: TURNING ON THIS LAMP IS A FIRE HAZARD

Picasa's Web Albums

2006-06-29T00:03:00.000-04:00

Anyone who posts pictures online for friends and family should sign up for the latest beta of Picasa. It allows you to post public and private albums online. You get 250MB of space for free.

Check out my web album. I only have the one public album right now.

Grab the latest version of Picasa here.

V-Day

2006-06-25T00:01:00.000-04:00

Well the day has come and past. I had my vasectomy performed on Thursday June 22 at approximately 1:45pm. It's now midnight on Saturday June 24 and I'm glad to say that everything seems to be healing fine. I'm not ready to go and play volleyball, but I think I can switch the athletic support for regular briefs for the next few days.

I had my vasectomy performed by Dr Weiss. I spoke to a few guys that had it done and they were all snipped by Dr Weiss so that's why I decided to go with him.

First of all, if any of you are reading this because you are thinking of putting a cap on your family, I'll give you a tip. Don't buy the kit that is offered at the office. It contains a dry shaver that is supposed to magically shave you without soap or water. It does... but it also mangles your privates! Trust me... just take a fresh disposable razor and lather up in the shower and go nuts... literally! ha. The kit also contains a bunch of gauze pads which you won't need because you'll want to opt for the glue on your incision. They inform you before the procedure that for $40 the doctor can apply a glue to your incision which allows you to shower immediately when you get home. The alternative is to have a wound leaking into gauze pads in your underwear for a few days. The kit also contains an athletic support, a gel pack to ice yourself which you probably already have in your feezer. A bag of frozen peas will do the trick. Oh yeah, and it had 2 specimen containers that you use for testing 12 weeks after the procedure. Save the $40 on the kit and spend it on the glue!

One other thing I forgot to mention was that I had been given a prescription for 1 valium to take an hour before the procedure. Well I lost my prescription and phoned the office the night before and left a message asking if that was a big deal. No one ever called back so I never took the pill. I don't know how much the prescription for 1 valium would cost, but if you're not anxious about the procedure then I wouldn't bother with that either.

Back to the procedure. you're supposed to show up 15 minutes early, the procedure takes 15 minutes and then you have to wait 15 minutes in the lobby to make sure everything's ok. Well I showed up 25 minutes early and he took me right away. There was no wasting time. It was basically, "Hi, did you wear your athletic support?". To which I answered, "Yes."
Then it was, "Ok, drop your shorts and athletic support to your knees and lie on the table."

One thing that was never mentioned in the brochure was how he snaps a rubber band around your knob with a piece of rubber tubing attached to it. Then he clamps it to your shirt so that your weiner is held firmly in position. Old one-eye looking right up at you. Then comes the warm iodine bath and scrubing. I was told that it was warmed to loosen things up. Meanwhile there's soothing music playing in the background and I'm staring at a poster on the ceiling which is a picture taken by someone laying on the ground and looking up at some huge trees. Must be cool if you took the valium.

Now it's time for the freezing. I remember reading on the site how they don't use a needle for that anymore. Here's a little clip from his website:

Using a special no-needle 'freezing' technique called jet injection, the doctor numbs the area. This method of local anaesthesia, or freezing, works with air pressure and does not require a needle. The sensation is like a little pop, not unlike a small rubber band against the skin.

What he fails to mention is that the little pop is followed by a nasty burning sensation. My description would be that it feels like he's putting out matches on your nuts! It also fails to tell you that the little pop is performed 3 times on each side of the scrotum! Thankfully, the "acid on my balls" feeling went away pretty quick (I'm guessing it was less than a minute).

I might have felt a slight pinch or two after that, but in my opinion all the pain happens during the freezing. The rest was nothing. It was weird to see little wafts of smoke coming up from my scrotum (when he was cauterizing the vas deferens), but I didn't feel it.

Here's another interesting bit I from his site:

One of the ends is then tucked back into its sleeve, or sheath, which is then closed with a tiny titanium clip. The clip remains there for the rest of your life and does not pose a health hazard.

You know that in a week or two I'll be trying to find those clips! He has an FAQ and someone asked if the clips set off the metal detectors at airports. The answer is no :)
My question is, now that I have titanium in my balls will it improve my golf game?

When he's all done the glue is applied. I want that job. $40 to dab some glue on a tiny cut. I figure I can do that at least 5 times a minute. That works out to $9,600/hour. Sweet!

Here's one suggestion. It would be nice if he gave us a wet wipe to clean up some of that iodine before pulling up the athletic support and pants/shorts. That smells nasty when you go to the washroom later in the day.

After a 15 minute wait in the lobby I was paying $40 for my glue and walking out the door. Unfortunately for me, Trish thought she still had 25 minutes to wait so she had just left to bring the kids for a sundae at McDonalds and I had a long wait until she came back. At least she had a sundae for me. I didn't know if I should eat it or put it between my legs, so I did both.

My next indignity will be to make love to one of those specimen jars in 12 weeks so they can test if my boys are still swimming. I'll cross that bridge when I get there!

Stay tuned :)

Frank D'Angelo... The Renegades' saviour? I'll pass.

2006-04-16T20:30:00.000-04:00

Anyone who gets Ben Johnson to promote their sports drink can't be all there. Barry Bond's might be drinking Cheetah soon!

Ben Johnson is one of the biggest embarrassments to Canadians, but Frank thinks we'll want to buy his sports drink because Ben Johnson is a Cheetah? Loser.

Snip snip!

2006-03-08T00:43:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I've updated this blog. I guess I've been busy watching the kids and blogging for The Score.

So what made me decide to post something tonight? Well I finally bit the bullet and called Dr Weiss' office to setup an appointment for my vasectomy. I know they say it's a pretty simple procedure (they being guys that I've spoken to that have had it done), but I challenge any guy to checkout the picture gallery of the following website without wincing at every picture starting at step 3! http://www.beavercleaver.net

Here's a direct link to the picture gallery.

So the next step is to go in for a consultation on March 29th at 1:30pm.

Here's a few things that are discussed at the consultation (stolen from their website):

If you are under 30 (nope), childless or with a child under six months of age (yes to under 6 months... but he's wearing 6 month clothing so that must count for something?), single or separated (nope), or in an unstable relationship (nope), Dr. Weiss will want to discuss these issues with you.

I don't forsee any problem with the consultation. I'll update my blog with any vasectomy related news.

The Music Genome Project

2006-02-27T22:30:00.000-05:00

This is one of the coolest websites I've seen in awhile. You create a radio station based on a favourite song or artist. They will then play similar sounding songs. You then train the radio station by telling it if you like the song or not. I haven't been using it for too long, but I assume that eventually you would have a radio station that plays songs that you like all the time.

check it out: www.pandora.com

Thank you Molson! (and The Score)

2006-02-23T23:12:00.000-05:00

This is the new beer fridge I got for being the Ottawa Senators fan blogger on The Score.ca
Sweet!

Free ebook on Photoshop picture editing

2006-01-18T08:42:00.000-05:00

http://hellnet.perverz.hu/ebookz/Adobe/50%20Fast%20Photoshop%207%20Techniques.pdf

Name Pending Arrived Today!!

2005-12-21T21:23:00.000-05:00

My 3rd son was born at 14:50pm on Wednesday December 21, 2005.
As you can see... it was an exhausting ordeal for me!

Seriously... I was just a glorified water boy. Every few minutes Trish would ask for a sip of water and I'd hold a glass to her face while she slurped from the straw. Oh, I also acted as a stirup and she had one foot up on my hip while she was pushing. I got a fantastic view of Name Pending as he made his way out of that mess. It's no wonder they hold their breath until they get out! Yuck!

Orkut Invite

2005-11-11T23:35:00.000-05:00

If by some miracle you have an Orkut account and are reading my page.... please send me an invite to jon.ciarlo@gmail.com

Thanks!

Perry Mayne and Darrel Thompson are Assholes!!

2005-10-28T00:14:00.000-04:00

"I'm not going to go crazy, I'm not going to quit work," said winner Perry Mayne.

Thompson says he too will probably continue to work, but at a different job.

These two pricks just won $3,193,806.58 each!!!!

Do some simple math you retards!

Even if you make $100,000/year, you'll have to work for 31 years to earn $3.2 million. That's without earning interest either!

Let me tell you what to do you freakin morons!

Spend $1M on house, cars, cottage, etc...
Invest the remaining $2.193,806.58 and live off of the interest.

If you have no mortgage, car payments, loan payments, then you should be able to easily live well off of the interest.

Enjoy your life!

But seriously... I'm at least glad that the $54 million jackpot was split between 17 winners. It would have been a shame for it to go to only 1 person.

2005-10-23T22:51:00.000-04:00

Darcy Tucker Wallpaper

George Carlin on New Orleans

2005-10-16T21:25:00.000-04:00

I received this via email. I have no clue if it was really written by George Carlin. Who cares... several excellent points are made.
____________________________

I've been sitting here with my ass in a wad, wanting to speak out about
the bullshit going on in New Orleans. For the people of New Orleans :

First would like to say, Sorry for your loss. With that said, let's go
through a few hurricane rules: (Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that. Get the hell out. Don't
blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said
anything, I can see the argument. They said get out, if you didn't,
it's your fault, not theirs. (I don't want to hear it, even if you
don't have a car, you can get out.)

#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables.

If you didn't do this, it's not the Government's fault you're starving.

#2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some.
Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)

#2b. If the local store has been looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's TV and stereo alone. (See #2a) They worked hard to get
their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a
mandatory vacation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff...it's
theirs, not yours.

#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then
complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some
dumb ass who didn't leave when told to do so.

#4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your
belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If
someone does want them, let them have them and hopefully they'll die
in the filth. Just leave! (It's New Orleans..find a voodoo warrior and
put a curse on them)

#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a
sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go
to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house

on quicksand would you? If you want to live below sea-level, do your
country some good and join the Navy.

#6. Regardless of what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al
Sharpton want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the hurricane as a way to eradicate the black people of New Orleans ; (Neither did Russia
as a way to destroy America. The US Government didn't cause global
warming that caused the hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice
age for over a million years).

#7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is
the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for
what you want. McDonalds and Wal-Mart are always hiring, get a damn
job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living.

President Kennedy said it best..."Ask not what your country can do for
you, ask what you can do for your country."

Thank you for allowing me to rant..

George Carlin

Federal Severance Package

2005-10-03T19:08:00.000-04:00

Since when do you get a serverance package if you quit your job? I thought it was only if you were laid off that you'd get a serverance package?

I can't believe that David "Dingbat" Dingwall will get a $500,000 severance package when he's been billing us for his bubble gum during his time as boss of the federal mint.

Disgusting!

I don't know who I'm going to vote for in the next election, but I can tell you it won't be a Liberal. I'm fed up. I know that many people will argue that they're all the same. They may be right, but that shouldn't stop us from showing our anger towards this type of mis-spending of tax payer money. Adscam alone should be enough to kill the Liberal party, but Canadians are too stupid to do anything about it.

Don't cry foul when more scandals come out... just kick yourself in the ass for voting them into the office to begin with!

MLB tie-breakers

2005-10-01T23:21:00.000-04:00

My brain hurts! I'm still trying to find out how the Yankees clinched first place today? They are 1 game up on the Red Sox with one game to go... against Boston. One would think that if the Red Sox won that game, the two teams would be tied and then a tie-breaker game would be played on Monday.

I definitely heard someone on the news say that the Red Sox had to win 2 of 3 in the final series to force the 1 game playoff on Monday vs the Yankees.

If someone can post an explanation of the rule (in English!) please do so before I injure my brain trying to work it out.

Starbuck's Tip #1: The Poor Man's Latté

2005-09-11T14:46:00.000-04:00

Instead of dropping $5 on a Grande Vanilla Latté, try ordering a Grande Vanilla Americano. Personally I prefer a Caramel Americano. I then top it off with some whole milk and it's pretty close to the taste of a latté for $2.45

"Let's Throw Airplanes!!"

2005-09-09T21:58:00.000-04:00

The question is:
What's the funniest cheer I've ever heard at a Renegades' football game?

BC was whipping them so bad that the only thing we had to cheer for were the paper airplanes that would reach the field from the upper south side. It was quite funny.

I couldn't get past about halfway across the lower south deck. One airplane I threw actually flipped back and hit the people behind me! I did some research on how to make a great gliding paper airplane, so if the next game sucks I'll be ready to get the crowd going!

Bring back the boobies!!!
(Mardi gras promotion)

T.O. Circus

2005-08-12T00:27:00.000-04:00

What a joke! This guy sounds like he has the same agent as Alexei Yashin.
1 year into a 7 year deal and you want it redone? Unbelievable! I'd make him play or sit!

What would be the incentive for the Eagles to entertain that option? We already have him locked up for 7 years for a shitload of money, but hey, let's re-do it so we can give him even more... especially since he had a pretty serious injury last season.

This guy is a cancer to the sport. Somebody should cut him out!

How To Traumatize Your Kid: Part 1

2005-08-08T21:57:00.000-04:00

The in-laws were in town so we took them to the Byward market on a sunny Saturday afternoon. As we're walking around I notice a busker who is just standing on a stool, frozen in a pose. He's painted blue and wearing blue clothes and wearing a spiked collar.

Kind of freaky looking to begin with. Checkout this link but picture the guy dressed as above.

Assuming that he'll change positions if we put some money in his metal garbage can, I give Jacob (my 2 year old) a twoonie to drop in his bucket. Little Jacob is apprehensive but slowly makes his way in front of the guy.

As the twoonie clangs into the metal bucket, the "blue guy" drops into a crouch and stomps his stool as he does so, scaring the living shit out of Jacob in the process.

The reaction of people around is a mixture of laughing (in that cruel America's Funniest Videos sort of way) and a few sad expressions when they see poor Jacob screaming for his mommy.

Next thing you know, there's a crowd forming around the guy and people are walking up one by one to drop more money in his bucket... each person jumping as he switches poses. He was pretty good at holding a pose, I'll give him that much.

We went for coffees at Starbuck's and when we came back the guy still had a decent crowd around him. It all started by freaking out a 2 year old. When we walked back, Trish stayed on the other side of the road so Jacob wouldn't see him!

No Buyout Philosophy?

2005-07-26T23:08:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure I agree with the Senators philosophy to not buy any players out and basically stick with the same team. The league has changed dramatically with the new CBA, and I think some teams will be left wondering what happened if they don't adjust. I'm not saying you have to go nuts on free agents, but clearly a goaltender should be a priority considering Hasek hasn't played a game in over 2 years and he's been injury prone towards the end of his career. I don't get a warm fuzzy feeling with him in nets. Emery is not ready to be a number 1 so why not make a pitch for a guy like Khabibulin or Osgood?

NHL Draft Lottery

2005-07-22T18:46:00.000-04:00

The actual drawing of the lottery was done behind closed doors "in a secure location," according to deputy commissioner Bill Daly - before the televised unveiling.

What a joke!!!!

The NHL had a great chance to create some excitement but they decided to screw us over again. I don't believe that lottery for one second. What is the reasoning for having the actually lottery done behind closed doors?

I'll tell you why... it's so they could arrange the order the way they wanted to, that's why!! I'm happy that Ottawa drafts 9th overall, but how convenient that the 2 teams that are probably closest to folding are getting the number 1 and number 2 picks!

Bullshit!

Mardi Gras at the Renegades game (July 21)

2005-07-21T23:00:00.000-04:00

Thank god for boobies!

The Renegades were horrible. Kick returners must lick their chops when the see the Ottawa Renegades on their calendars. I'm sure the opponents get about 20 yards per return on average and the Renegades probably get about 5!

This game was also the first time I actually saw a pair of boobies. This one girl was flashing away and guys were whipping their beads from all over the place. I don't even know if she won, but it was more interesting than the game, that's for sure.

Ottawa Senators: Team Report

2005-07-21T14:45:00.000-04:00

After the Ottawa Senators are awarded the #1 overall pick in the 2006-07 entry draft and they lock up Sydney Crosby for 3 years, the teams focus should shift to goaltending.

Although they do have Dominic Hasek locked in for the new and improved salary of $2.28 million (down from 3 million) there are a couple of noteable unrestrieted free agent goaltenders that are available.

Nikolai Khabibulin (aka the Bulin Wall)
Chris Osgood (aka Ozzy)
Curtis Joseph (aka Cujo)

My feelings?

Khabibulin to me is the best choice. This guy is unbeateable when he's on his game. Sens fans still don't know what type of team will be playing in front of their goaltender, but Bryan Murray has said that he would emphasize offence and creativity.

Osgood is my second choice. He's won 2 cups and that's always key.

CUJO. I just listed him because he's a free agent. Personally his tainted in my eyes because he was a Leaf. The loosing is in his blood now. He couldn't pull it off in Toronto (given their defence sucked so they couldn't win unless he was standing on his head in nets) and he couldn't pull it off in Detroit. Does that tell you something?!?!?!

I'd like to see some comments on this posting. What do you think the Sens have to do to move to take the cup home to Ottawa?
Do you think Hasek is all we need?
Will the Sens get first pick?
Is Bryan Murray the right guy to lead Ottawa? I'm allowing anonymous posts, but show some balls and sign your name to your comments!

JC out!

Kids under 5 face drowning risk: report

2005-07-21T10:09:00.000-04:00

NO SHIT!!!!

Because of this ridiculous report they are talking about giving kids swimming lessons in school? How about making parents responsible for watching their kids? Let's put the onus on the kid to learn how to swim! Stupid kid.

My point is, accidents will always happen. Are swimming lessons really useful in this situation? Do they throw the kids in a frozen pond with all of their clothes on? Maybe whack them on the head first?

If you are a government department looking for someone to conduct another report such as this... I'll do it!! Easy money.

Securing your home PC

2005-07-14T21:57:00.000-04:00

I'm not an expert, but I do take pride in keeping my home PC clean of viruses and spyware, etc.. Mission accomplished so far!!

This is what I'm currently using:
Antivirus
McAfee VirusScan Enterprise 8.0.0
It's provided free by my employer. For a good free antivirus application, try AVG. I've installed it for a few people and it does a pretty good job. It'll do automatic updates and scan emails.

Firewall
Sygate Personal Firewall 5.5 (freeware)
This is a great little firewall. I could use the built-in Microsft firewall, but I was already using this when Microsoft came out with their own so I stuck with it.

Adware and Spyware Utilities
Lavasoft Ad-Aware SE Professional (Build 1.05)
I assume you have to pay for this version but I believe there is a free version available.

Microsoft Anti-Spyware Beta1 (Freeware)
I just installed this today so I haven't had a good chance to see it in action yet. I did an initial scan of my system and it didn't find anything, but I just ran a scan with Ad-Aware last night and it cleaned a few things.

Office Dares: unknown author

2005-07-13T15:04:00.000-04:00

ONE-POINT DARES

Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
Walk sideways to the photocopier.
While going in an elevator, gasp dramatically each time the doors open.
When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.
Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."
Don't use any punctuation
Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.
Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.

THREE-POINT DARES

Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout, "dagnamit, it's happened again!". Then do it again.
Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then wink and pout.
Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any pornography web sites.

FIVE-POINT DARES

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".
Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".
After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.
In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again!"
Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash biscuit with your fist.
During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
Hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll call you tonight".

Canada Day 2005: You Sucked!

2005-07-02T00:41:00.000-04:00

Decided to take the kids to the community Canada Day party in Kanata. When we arrived in the afternoon we could see that a thunderstorm was fast approaching so we waited it out by the car and it paid off. After about 15 minutes it passed and we were able to park really close to the festivities because so many people had left when the rain came.

So the kids got to go on a few lame rides before it rained again. This time only for a few minutes, but my wife had packed everyone's rain coats except for mine, so I got a little wet. We decided to come home for a couple of hours and then head back for the fireworks.

We went back at around 9:30pm and caught the tail end of the Glass Tiger performance... at least we presumed it would be the tail end. By 10:30 they still hadn't stopped playing and both of the kids were out cold so we decided to leave. I'm assuming it was too windy, but we could see the Stittsville fireworks and the Andrew Hayden Park fireworks on the way home. It was funny because just before we left the crowd started chanting for the fireworks but Glass Tiger wouldn't have anything to do with that.

Then I decided to check TSN to see what I missed by not going to the Renegades game (I have a season pass and couldn't give the tickets away!). Turns out they made a 23 point comeback in the 4th quarter and then won it in double overtime. Unbelievable!!! I know I just missed the best game of the year. Again... who schedules a game at 6pm on Canada Day?!?!?!

Renegades Season Ticket Holder

2005-06-29T23:36:00.000-04:00

Well I'm officially an Ottawa Renegades season ticket holder. Aldo and I each bought a season pass and I couldn't be happier that he talked me into picking the upper south side for our seats. His argument was that the lower sections were in the end zones so you had a very limited view of the game. At least in the upper south sections you can see the whole field pretty good.

I thought that was good reasoning, but there's an even better reason to be happy. The Ottawa Renegades announced that the upper south side of the stadium will be Mardi Gras! Every home game they plan to give guys in the upper south section bead necklaces. The girl who can collect the most beads will win $1000. This could be good! So much for taking Matthew to the games. Keep checking back for an update on the Mardi Gras section.

With my luck the league will can this promotion before I get to see it, as I'm not going to make the home opener on Canada Day. What the F%CK were they thinking?!?!?!?! Why on Canada Day? At least make it an afternoon game!!! Retards!

OC Transpo Sucks!

2005-06-15T21:43:00.000-04:00

It takes me an hour and a half to travel 12 kilometres using OC Transpo! I went to their website and expected it to tell me to take the local 160 from my place to Centrum plaza and then take the 118 to work in Bell's Corners. Apparently the faster way is to take the 60 Express bus downtown and get off at the Queensway stop and then transfer to 179 which comes back towards Kanata through Bell's corners. That trip is supposed to take 50 minutes.

I've tried what they suggested for the past 2 days and each time I missed connecting with the 179 by 1 or 2 minutes because of the traffic on the highway. We need a bus lane from Kanata to the Queensway stop... just like the one they have coming in from Orleans.

And just to piss me off even more... today I didn't wait to see if I had missed the 179, I just assumed I did. So I got on the next bus that took me to Baseline station so I might catch an earlier 118 then the previous day. I arrived just in time to watch it pull away and had to wait 20 minutes for the next one.

Geez, I wish I could take my car to work... it's only a 15 minute drive! Apparently 3 hours of bussing on my part is ok as long as my wife can go to Walmart in the morning :)

I'm going to try biking in... sometime soon.

I wish there was a way to pull my share of taxes out of public transportation. It sucks!

The Short Cut

2005-06-09T13:18:00.000-04:00

I'm curious to know if a study has been made regarding the average age that a woman decides to cut her hair short. A man-cut being a short haircut. It just seems that older women in general seem to have short hair. Why is that? Is it a time-saving thing? Is it tied to menopause?

If you've heard of such a study (there has to be one underway somewhere!) then please comment on this post.

Thanks!

Book Review: The Narrows, by Micheal Connelly

2005-06-06T22:04:00.000-04:00

At the bequest of a recently widowed Graciella McCaleb, retired police officer Harry Bosch decides to look into the death of the ex-FBI agent. The Poet is back in play (haven't read that one yet) and his protege Rachel Walling appears to be his target.

One clue leads to another and eventually Bosch stumbles onto the FBI investigation which is underway in the desert not too far from Las Vegas.

This book started pretty good but just when they get on The Poet's trail, the book is over. I just felt like the ending was rushed and it left me wanting for more. If anything, it interested me enough to make me want to read "The Poet".

Overall I give it an 8 on 10.

Bus Ride Musings

2005-06-02T22:23:00.000-04:00

Why is it that when I take the bus in the morning, every seat is packed thigh to thigh with people, but when I catch the bus home at night, people never seem to squeeze in as tight? There's always several "half seats" available on the long benches that no one seems willing to squeeze into.

What is it that makes people less likely to wedge themselves into a seat in the afternoon? Is it because we've all had a whole day to get stinky?

Rob and Amber Get Married

2005-05-24T23:16:00.000-04:00

I started watching this show and realized that I haven't even watched my own wedding on tape yet. Why the hell would I watch someone elses?!?!?!

End of review.

The Contender Title Fight

2005-05-24T23:00:00.000-04:00

If I hear Stallone say "rematch" one more time I think I'll puke. It wasn't even that great of a fight. He must have said it about 30 times and he started talking rematch before the fight even started! It was basically two guys hugging each other for 7 rounds.

Mora was bleeding like a pig at the end but he deserved the win, no question. If he wasn't such a pompous prick I might have enjoyed the fight, but I think most people were hoping that Manfredo would win. Maybe he's just one of those guys that people love to hate.

Let's face it. Mora was the better fighter and the only person not to lose during the series. Manfredo was lucky to get voted back in.

Personally, I think the fight for bronze was much better to watch. I love watching Jessie fight because he makes you feel like the next punch will be for the KO. The other fighers lacked that.

Another thing... how can you expect guys to heal enough to fight that often and compete? I'm no expert, but if a guy gets cut in a fight, he probably needs a few weeks to recoup or it will just open up the first time the other guy lands a decent punch.

I'm not interested in a Mora vs Manfredo Jr - II. Mora vs Alfonso doesn't interest me either. I don't think Alfonso can beat Mora, but at least he's a likeable guy. What I'd really like to see is if any of these guys really are contenders. Let Mora fight for the real title! Then we'll see if he's really worth the million bucks.

It was also weird to see fights actually scored properly. I kept waiting for the shocking results but then realized that Don King wasn't involved in the show.

All in all it was a great season and I'd watch it again. I give season 1 an 8 on 10.

Liberals Survive Confidence Vote

2005-05-19T21:31:00.000-04:00

How lame are we as Canadians right about now? Our minority government (that was recently exposed for bilking millions of dollars through the Adscam scandal) has managed to once again pull itself out of the fire. The Liberals were faced with two non-confidence votes tonight and they won both, with the speaker of the house voting as the tie breaker (he's a Liberal).

And why? Because we don't want to have to vote during our summer vacation? There's no alternative party to vote for? Not only did our prime minister strike a deal with the NDP which ended up costing taxpayers 4 billion dollars that wouldn't have been in the budget otherwise, but he stole one of the opposition MPs and offered her a cabinet seat to make sure he had enough votes.

I can't wait to find out what deals he made with the independent MPs. We'll see if any of them all of a sudden join the Liberals and get cabinet positions. Or maybe they'll just get some nice federal funding in their ridings. What a joke.

Suppose they didn't snag Stronach like they did.... they would have lost the vote and we'd be heading to the polls in 40 days. Recent surveys were showing the the Conservatives had already lost most of the support they had a few weeks ago, so the Liberals would have most likely ended forming a minority government once again.

I pissed my vote away on the NDP last election, only because I knew I wasn't going to vote Liberal, but I don't trust the Conservatives either. The 2 main reasons I won't vote Conservatives are:
1. I want our healthcare to improve (and not by privatization!)
2. Their position on gays getting married. To me this is a religion issue, not a political one.

And as far as Stronach goes... I think Harper let her go so she can be to the Liberals, what Kim Campbell was to the Conservatives. I've lost complete respect for Martin... he's just a political whore in my mind. And McKay... shutup about your broken heart already you sissy! You probably would have ended up being divorce number 3 anyway!

I don't understand how an MP can just switch parties if they want. Shouldn't that decision be made by the constituents that elect them? There are tons of people who vote for a party, not the individual. Many people vote for the party that most reflects their values, and to just switch from one party to another is a complete change in those values in some cases.

Alright... I'm done bitching for now.

The Amazing Race 7

2005-05-10T23:45:00.000-04:00

Even though it's been known for weeks who won (apparently Vegas odds for Uchenna & Joyce were heavily in favor of them right off the bat) , I was still dissapointed to see them win the race. Especially considering that Rob and Amber were the only team of the remaining 3 that didn't get one of those bullshit "non-elimination" free passes.

What's up with that?!?

To me, if you lose a leg of the race you should be sent packing. You suck!
What differentiates Uchenna & Joyce from all of the other teams that were eliminated? They all finished last in a leg of the race. They just had a non-elimination a couple of weeks ago when Ron and Kelly finished last. I was pissed when they weren't sent home and I'm pissed that Uchenna & Joyce weren't sent packing too. If you want to make the game longer, just add a couple of teams!

And why is it a security risk to get Rob and Amber on one flight but they re-dock the plane later on for Uchenna & Joyce? Considering that every team was against them from the start I still think Rob and Amber should have won.

At least in the Amazing Race the best teams have a shot at winning, unlike Survivor where the strong get voted off and the weakest players duke it out to see who the others hate the least.

As if Bruckheimer would let the winner of Survivor take home the top prize on his show too. I'm a sucker for thinking he might.

Head to Head: Zip.ca vs VHQOnline.ca

2005-05-03T21:09:00.000-04:00

Here's a comparison of Zip.ca and VHQOnline.ca for the month of April. I live in Ottawa and my friend and I each have a membership with one of the above online DVD rental companies.
I'm with VHQ and my buddy is with Zip.

For the month of April, 2005, the zip account received 20 DVDs.
During the same period, my VHQ account received a dismal 11 DVDs.

A few things to keep in mind.
1. We both tend to "watch" our DVDs and mail them back the very next day from the same postal outlet.
2. I lied once and told them that I had sent my DVDs back more than 4 days before to accelerate them sending me my next 4 DVDs. They emailed me on a Tuesday saying that my next shipment was sent, and I didn't receive them until the Friday. Pathetic!
3. VHQ ships from Toronto and Zip ships from Ottawa, so there's a definite advantage for Zip.
4. One thing to note is that when you put a new movie at the top of your list with your VHQ account, it usually gets shipped right away, where you can have 2 new movies on your Zip ASAP list and they won't get sent for several shipments.

So... my conclusion is that if you don't care so much about quantity and you care more about receiving the latest releases, your best bet would be to go with VHQ. You should be able to get 10 to 12 movies a month with VHQ and they'll most likely send the ones at the top of your list. You'll get closer to 20 DVDs with Zip, but you might not get the ones you put on your ASAP list.

One other note... I'm pretty sure VHQ purposely waits a day or two to say they received your DVDs before shipping your next DVDs and I think they also only ship the new ones the day after they email you that they've been sent. There's no way it takes 8 business days to send and receive something between Ottawa and Toronto.

Review: Guy's Night (April 22, 2005)

2005-04-25T12:33:00.000-04:00

Well it took me a couple of days to write about last Friday night's "Man-Date", but I think the overall assessment is that it was a success.

Somehow we found enough booze for everyone to get tanked even though Delage showed up with a 24 of empties! How strong do you have to be to not notice if you're carrying empties or a full case?

How is it that 8 guys making decent coin all show up to the party with exactly enough alcohol to get themselves drunk? Then one guy shows up sans-alcohol and the ratio is blown out of whack. Thanks to a late night recon by the Crookster and Menard's winery, we all still managed to get pretty twisted. I think Derek officially shut us down at around 4:30am.

My suggestion for the next Man-Date is that everyone has to take at least 2 more beers/drinks than they "think" they need for the night. God forbid that the host has a few leftovers! :)

Ryan: Terrorist Identification

2005-04-14T14:16:00.000-04:00

There was a picture of Wolfgang Droege in the paper today. He's the neo Nazi "Hate Monger" that was found dead yesterday.

Ryan thought he was a terrorist just by looking at his picture. He said he could tell by the beard.
A co-worker who sits in the cubicle next to me has a beard... is he a terrorist or a hate monger?

So... if you're a white male with a beard you can expect delays at the border! If you were ever looking for a reason to shave off your beard you can thank Ryan for this one.

All newspapers will be free (or close to it)

2005-04-13T23:23:00.000-04:00

I love the 2 new free daily newspapers in Ottawa.
I'm currently a National Post subscriber at the amazing price of $5/month for the first 6 months, but I might stop after that.

The 2 free papers I'm talking about are Metro and Dose.
As long as you live in Ottawa, Montreal, Toronto or Vancouver you should be able to find it all over the place.

The National Post still delivers a fantastic Financial section, which may entice me to stay on as a subscriber.

The Ottawa Sun has already reduced their daily price to 25 cents.

Currently Reading...

2005-04-13T22:30:00.000-04:00

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Pretty good so far. A tad too many religious references though.
The question is, will I practice what it preaches?

I'm also reading James Patterson's "Black Friday".
As with all of his books that I've read so far, this book is an easy read and very entertaining. I really love the way he keeps his chapters short. For some reason it seems easier to read that way?

2005-04-10T23:40:00.000-04:00

Another view.

2005-04-10T23:39:00.000-04:00

My most satisfying home reno yet!

2005-04-10T23:38:00.000-04:00

Before....

OCVL UNSportsman of the year 2005

2005-03-31T22:29:00.000-05:00

This week was the last game of the regular season. Our team was firmly locked in as team 2 of pool B for the playoffs. The game was essentially meaningless to us.

Unfortunately we were playing Wolfpack. We haven't had the greatest track record against this team, but they are not nearly as strong as they were last year.

Anyways... to the point of my story, there's a guy on the team (I don't know his name but he wears glasses) who made the most UNsportsmanlike comment I have ever heard in over 10 years of playing in the OCVL. After watching our female setter tip a ball over the net right in front of his face he was upset with the referee for not calling her back court. Although she did technically jump to hit the ball she was nowhere near being higher than the net.

This being the 8th call that he was whinning about he uttered this beautiful gem:
"Next time I'll crush the ball as hard as I can and break her fingers."

Beauty!

He should have been carded on the spot for that, but I guess the ref didnn't hear him. Let's just hope this guy doesn't work at the post office.

Ryanism

2005-03-24T08:44:00.000-05:00

I can't remember why, but I asked Ryan if he knew what "estie" meant. I'm not sure that's how to spell it, but I'm talking about the french swear word.

Ryan replies, "Yes, I think it has something to do with fast cars right?"

"What do you mean?", I asked.

"You know... like the Mustang ST!"

We all had a good laugh. I didn't look it up, but he's probably right!

U2 Tickets

2005-03-21T23:42:00.000-05:00

It took me almost a full hour of dialing on a land line, cell phone, and website but I finally got 2 tickets to the Ottawa concert!

I lost my first set of tickets because the reservation expired in the time it took for me to register on the site! Then I couldn't get anything in the $50 range that wasn't obstructed or behind the stage so I bit the bullet and bought 200 level seats at $160 a pop.

For $350 I'm hoping Bono will stick a rocket up his ass and launch himself into the 400 level suites... that would be totally worth the ticket price.

Reality TV Takes

2005-03-20T21:12:00.000-05:00

Amazing Race 7
This is the best reality TV show in my opinion. I hope Rob and Amber win. I think the old farts or the guy and his mother are the next to go!

Survivor Palau
Merge already! I'll be upset if Stephanie doesn't at least make it to the final 9. I'd like to see Kuror lose to find out if the secret alliance will boot Tom. If not Tom, I hope they lose the psycho old chick!

Apprentice
The previews says that someone disses The Donald and gets fired. My guess is that it's Chris. He's already lost it a couple of times in the boardroom.

The Contender
This is actually better than I thought it would be. I missed week 3 where Ishe finally stepped up and fought Ahmed. To bad he won. Then this week it was Tajai that lost and then I found out he was the one who killed himself after the show. How much did Burnett and Stallone donate?

2005-03-07T19:19:00.001-05:00

Cool building.

2005-03-07T19:19:00.000-05:00

Steam Clock in Gastown, Vancouver.

2005-03-07T19:17:00.000-05:00

Donald who?

2005-03-07T19:16:00.000-05:00

Limo ride to the Pan Pacific in Vancouver.

iPod Shuffle

2005-01-14T23:33:00.000-05:00

I have a suggestion for Apple. You should rename your new iPod Shuffle
the iCrap shuffle.
Who in their right mind would pay over $100 for a player that can't even
have playlists, has no display, no expandable memory and radio tuner?
Oh did I mention they have a proprietary music format so you can't even
load your MP3s and WMA files without converting them first.

I personally think the higher priced iPod is also junk. Hard drive =
moving parts = accident waiting to happen.

That's my two cents on the iPod and iPod Shuffle.

Ryan's Ideas: Sweat Catchers

2005-01-12T16:42:00.000-05:00

A co-worker stopped at my desk after an interview. He was wearing a full suit and was telling me how happy he was that the interview was over with.

He also commented that he was sweating like a pig... no doubt because of the full suit.

In walks Ryan. "Hey, they should sell shirts with sweat catchers!"

To which I reply, "That's why they sell anti perspirant."

No response...

I ask, "So lets say someone doesn't like using anti-perspirant or sweats profusely, they could then buy shirts with sweat catchers.... what happens to the sweat once it's caught? Where does it go?"

"The pads are changeable... you can pull them out and throw them away and then put in new ones!"

Not his best idea ever... but a good start to 2005.